I left my phone at home all weekend

no cellfire starterno cell 2

I left my phone at home all weekend and it was awesome.  I was seriously becoming too attached. All I wanted to do was complete some projects on Saturday and hike in the wilderness on Sunday. For a moment I thought, “Oh, take pictures for your blog!” Then I caught myself and realized that defeats the whole point of a secluded hike along the river and rest. It was just what I needed and I am better for it. When I did get home and turned on my phone, I had a message from one of my friends indicating her 7-year-old son had tried to make fire bombs with a bottle and paper napkins..(He actually lit one and threw it in their neighbors yard.)

“O.K., that is terrifying and I really want to turn my phone back off now.”

Incase you are wondering, I called her back but all I could manage to say was:

“Holy Shit.”


This is really strange because when I’ve babysat him, he is the sweetest little guy? gulp…. Is it wrong that my mind wondered back to what I had gotten him for Christmas? Hoping it was something that could be interpreted by a 7 yr old as, “Please don’t burn my house down, cause I love you kiddo…..”


Chilling with my fur kids

I can’t believe I used to say I’d never let my dogs in the house? LOOK HOW FAR THESE TWO HAVE MADE IT IN TWO YEARS…. I still cant let them roam free, (too big, break stuff) but they are family now and like to chill on their pad at night in whatever room I’m in…….love,love, LOVE! ūüėÄ I’m a sucker. Lol


I’ve underestimated mothers everywhere…

I have to apologize, I’ve been a judgemental jerk.  I’ve looked at mothers before and thought to myself, ” How can they let their child behave that way?…Why can’t they control their children?…Parents use television as a babysitter…etc.”  Well, I humbly stand corrected.  I’ve been babysitting successfully for years, I am a Godmother, and I LOVE children, but I’ve never been around ill-behaved/hyperactive children until this past week.  I tried to live up to my own expectations, I made sure we spent time at the library, worked on the interactive computers, learned new words, did crafts and pondered the sciences, but by the time evening rolled around, it was all I could do to turn on a cartoon for them and try to collect my thoughts as I zoned out and scurried to make dinner.  As I tried to remember what my own thoughts sounded like in my head, I was interrupted every few minutes to be told of something funny that had just happened during the cartoon the kids didn’t want me to miss; how sweet! My brain would quickly return to mush as they ran back to the living room and I focused on the safest way to serve dinner, thought about the adult things I needed to get finished before bed, and how to serve that dinner while still preserving my furnishings and dishes.  To every good mother out there I say, ” You are kind of taken for granted? You just quietly do this stuff day after day and will continue, because it’s what love and a mother does.  Please accept my apology, I’m sorry. I’ve judged some of you and underestimated just how much work you do everyday.” 

mom blog

In the future, I promise to babysit more often for each of my friends with children and to think of creative ways to help mothers during the busier times of their life, work, etc.”   All I could think as I collapsed into bed each night the children were here was, “How do mothers do all of this everyday and still have it in them to give time and attention to their jobs, parents, family members, friends, the dog, a lover, marriage, and self?”  “How do you do that?”  How do you find the time to go to the gym, look beautiful, put make-up on, stay on trend with stylish clothes, and still take care of a spouse while keeping house and your sanity? I’m talking to real moms, not those of you with a nanny, you don’t count!….lol That is miraculous in itself, there should be an award for the ability to make it to the car without acquiring stains while placing the kids into car seats. (I managed to get a day old Caprisun squirted at me and silly putty on the knee of my pants.)  You guys make it look so easy?  I have an entirely new perspective, I found myself wanting to mail money and a thank you card to Disney and Pixar after dinner.  Because of those wonderful companies,  I was able to organize the children’s clothes for the following day and grab a quick bath for myself.  It was a “Praise The Lord” kind of moment that made me think Christian mothers should be exempt from tithing, they should be sending a few bucks to Disney, Pixar, and Veggie-tales every month with a note that reads, Please keep up the entertaining work!  I really think God would understand! 

I also realized why people reference that verse in the bible that says something to the effect of, “We need to have the heart of a child to enter heaven.”  They are so pure and forgiving of you when you lose it because they started to pull the roof fabric down on your leather interior car, they think you are beautiful in sagging, twisted pajamas, and wild hair when you got up long enough to turn cartoons on for them because they couldn’t reach. As you crawl back into bed, begging God for mercy, and just 15 more minutes of sleep, you hear the sweetest little voices singing along to adorable cartoon songs, without a care in the world, in complete peace, and you find the energy to get up on 5 1/2 hours of sleep, untwist your Pj’s, and make pancakes.  Children genuinely want to make things better, they are sensitive, humorously explorative, and they love you in a sincere,unconditional way, they’ll quietly hug you just for making pancakes or making them happier in a moment….it is a beautiful thing and anyone that has children that love them in their life in any capacity, is lucky indeed.  

I can admit that I do not think I am woman enough to ever become a mother, but I am woman enough to be the best babysitter my friends have ever had, to be more attentive when I notice my friends needing a break from child rearing and I vow in those moments to say , ” Let me take those rascals off your hands this weekend, so you can sleep in!”  I’m a single person, I can suck up not having even 6 hours of sleep every now and then, besides Kung Foo Panda was really funny, they wrote “I love you” in chalk on my orange tree, and I’ll be needing somebody to decorate Christmas cookies with in a few weeks……Did I mention that they also broke the light switch in my living room? The darkness is giving my computer screen a nice clarity though… 

xmas cookies

Mothers are freaking gladiators


¬†I have been watching my friends¬†children while she moves.(I love these lil kids very much),they are 6-7 1/2 and 8 1/2. However, currently, I’m hiding in my bathroom just for a moment of silence without interruption!¬† Oh, believe. Me.¬† I’m going to have a lot to blog about this experience!! I’d tell you about it now, but I just heard a tiny voice whispering, “Bea, I know where she put the Jello Jigglers…” followed by little feet pounding my hardwood floors, and was delivered a glowing eyeball, covered in lint from underneath the bathroom door…………their mother said they are usually in bed by 7? SOS…SOS….SOS…SOS…SOS…SOS…SOS…I’m not woman enough for this sh*&. YOU¬†MOTHERS OUT THERE¬†ARE GLADIATORS.¬† I’ve been in the arena three days and I can barely stand…. I underestimated what you women go through, you all need/deserve more appreciation for what you do!

No Pressure…..

I was reading about, “Francesca Woodman” and then decided to watch¬†her documentary last night.¬† I’ve always loved the way she¬†embodied ¬†the wild¬†abandon that only youth provides through her pictures.¬†¬†They’ve always captured the wild spirit of a strong, sexually liberated, young¬†woman. (My opinion)¬†When I watched the documentary, I was astounded by her parents.¬† At one point her mother said that while she enjoyed the acclaim her late daughters photos were receiving, she wanted to say, “Hey, I’m an artist too! I make art too!”¬†(That was an actual quote)¬†I can not get this out of my head.¬† I feel like both of her parents priorities are off the mark.¬† Your daughter flung herself out of a New York Loft window to her death.¬† Her face was unrecognizable and that is what you have to say about her art?¬† Her father went on to mimic her pictures, which I feel is in extremely bad taste and serves to tarnish her memory and vision.¬† I thought my jaw could not drop any further to the ground¬†and then¬†he said, in effect, that he is o.k. with all of the attention she is receiving because he feels that her work warrants it,¬†however, if her work was not good,¬†he would have a real problem with all of the attention she is receiving.¬† This poor girl.¬† I feel so badly for her.¬†I do not mean to dismiss any deep seated psychological issues that she had, but everything has a root cause.¬† I¬†surmise¬†that she needed parents that let her know she was needed, important, and relevant with or without successful art.¬† Her story has been haunting me all day.¬† I’ve always been a fan of her tree root picture below.¬† You should watch her documentary (and form your own opinion)¬†and read more about her if you enjoy photography.