James Corden is the Best Thing Ever

And I love Rod and Rocky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS yesSSSSSSSSSSsssssssss YESSSSSSSSS

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Betty Page was a Schizophrenic and liked 50 Shades of Grey?

Well, I just didn’t know a damn thing about Betty Page. (I thought I did?)  I grew up seeing pictures of her on the wall of my uncle Joe’s garage and my dad had one of those pens that took all of her clothes off when you picked it up to write.  He kept it hidden in his tool box, but I would play with it when he would send me to the garage to get a pair of pliers or a screwdriver.  I didn’t know that she was the original “50 Shades of Grey” either?  I had no idea she made bondage photos until I saw this documentary.  Wow, for the time, that sure took some moxie?

She was also her class Salutatorian!

Have you seen this documentary?  I think the whole thing is on YouTube?  If not, you should give it a whirl.  First of all, she was ornery as hell and I love a women like that!  She was also a healthy looking woman with a normal body!

Her story was empowering and sad at the same time, anybody that has ever had a horrible landlord can understand her attacking one…lol  But having to spend 10 years institutionalized in a mental hospital?  I supposed it was also because of her nervous breakdown and the schizophrenia, but 10 years?  She should have lashed out at her father, that man was disgusting which you’ll learn about in the film.  Maybe a psychologist would say her father was the person she was lashing out at in a way when she attacked her landlord?…..

She doesn’t show herself on the film because she wanted to be remembered the way she was in her pictures, but you’ll hear her aged voice narrating the film.  RIP Betty Page.

Don’t Date A Person That Doesn’t Wag Their Tail At The Sound Of Your Name!

Bruno and his wife Elz....he's a stud, she still has mad love for him. :)  He treats her like a queen, its sweet really....

Bruno and his wife Elz….he’s a stud, she still has mad love for him. 🙂 He treats her like a queen, its really sweet.

 

Valentine’s Day is coming and of course it has me thinking about love.  There are some things I’ve learned about love over the years from dating, but I think the sweetest lessons I’ve learned have sadly come from my dog, Bruno. (I’ve learned a lot from Elz too, more on her later…)

Make sure you wag your tail when you see those you love. My dog always greets me with excitement and a wagging tail.  All I have to do is mutter his name and the wiggling and dog smiling starts.  Bruno fills my heart with joy and shows me how much he loves me with his attentiveness.  His enthusiasm makes me smile!   

Lesson Learned:  Don’t date a person that doesn’t wag and smile when you utter their name.  When you are unappreciated for too long; the consequence of that is inevitably a feeling of worthlessness.  No matter how tough you think you are or how much you think you love that man or woman, nobody should live without a smiling partner that values your existence.  There is a reason Destiny’s Child sang, “Say my name…Say my name…” That’s all it should take to get a tail wagging when you’re with the right person!

 

 Sometimes words aren’t necessary. I communicate with my dog every day without words.  My favorite thing to do is wake him up by rubbing his belly and kissing his fuzzy ears.  He’ll stretch and look up at me with a grateful look, yawn, gently paw the air, and roll around like a puppy, enjoying every minute of it. 

 

Lesson Learned:  The moments you feel the closest to those you love are in the quiet times.  The communicating taking place when talking isn’t necessary seems to be when we’ve conveyed the most.  If you don’t believe me, just watch a husband piss off his wife. We’ve all witnessed the silent look she’ll shoot him in an instant. (Powerful and silent communication at its best.)  Mothers possess the same talent with their children, no words are necessary; all it takes is a glance. Love works silently in the same way.  It’s the wink across the kitchen table or that shirt folded for you in the laundry room.

 

Stick your head out the window when you drive. My dog is excited to be in the car and greet the staff at our local coffee shop drive thru on Sundays! Sometimes, I feel like he is more excited about coffee than I am.  Bruno teaches me to live more fully in the moment!  He’s taught me to be joyful in the small things and to appreciate the scenery while leaning my head out the window. When we go for walks, he doesn’t care where we go, as long as we are together and outside.

Lesson Learned:  Love needs enthusiasm.  You have to be excited to hold hands or go for a drive with your partner; don’t take them for granted.  The first time I took my dog to the lake and removed his leash, he raced toward the water, sailed into the air and jumped in.  When the shock and worry over him hitting a branch or not knowing how to swim wore off, I couldn’t stop laughing.  He was fearless and knew that I would be waiting for him at the shore. He embraced his excitement and didn’t care what anybody thought, he knew he loved water and he went for it!  In love, we need to go for it!  Just run like hell and leap! You’ll learn how to swim and if the water isn’t comfortable, you’ll recognize when it’s time to get out.  You can also leap in repeatedly and confidently do a few flips with the right person lovingly waiting for you on the shoreline.

 

Communicate what you are feeling. When my dog needs to urinate he does a certain bark that I know means, take me out now or your hardwood floors are history!  When he is sad, he does another distinctive low bark that I know means,” Sit with me awhile longer; I’ve missed you all day.”

Lesson Learned: When you are in a relationship you also need to say, “Take me outside now!”  As in, I need a nice dinner and a date night.  Occasionally, we also need to say, “Can you just sit with me awhile longer, I need you today.” But your partner won’t know how you are feeling if you don’t communicate.  What the hell, try barking, wagging your rump, and howling a little at your partner tonight, it could only lead to a good laugh and a fun memory. (I’m smiling just imagining it!)

 

Kiss a lot! Bruno kisses me any chance he gets.  When I feed him he is thankful and always licks me after he finishes his last bite.  When I wake him in the morning, I am kissed. When I leave in the morning, I know what’s coming, kissed again!  My dog knows that I hate licking, this has required him to master a quick one-touch lick. When we are driving down the street sometimes he’s so happy, he leans over the glove box from the backseat just to gently land a quick one on my cheek. 

Lesson Learned: Kiss a lot!  When was the last time you leaned across the glove box just to land a quick kiss on your partner?  Human kisses are amazing they communicate more than words ever could!  They also have a strange way of sincerely implying, “Thank You, I’m sorry, and I want you now!” 

Sometimes you need to say, “To hell with it” and eat the sponge. Being spontaneous has its benefits, like breaking up the daily monotony and making the people you live with laugh out loud.  A few weeks ago, Bruno did something out of the ordinary for him; he snuck out of my bedroom in the middle of the night, went into the bathroom and decided to have a blast chewing up my new bath sponge. He was so proud of himself and guilty all at once, that the only thing I could do was burst out laughing!  He really thought he was going to be in trouble when I woke up, but his wagging tail and the hundreds of tiny bits of sponge covering his face made it impossible to be mad.  He followed his instincts and had a blast living in the moment and I learned to let my anger go! 

Lesson Learned: When is the last time you made your partner laugh and did something completely out of character?   Are you living it up in the moment and shaking up your daily routine for the both of you or are you a boring partner? Are you flipping out over your partner ruining your bath sponge or are you able to laugh, embrace the moment, and accept that weird thing they decided to do today? Sometimes, we need to give a person the freedom they need to express their quirkiness; you might learn something new about the person you love and even like it!

Bruno's guilty "I ate your sponge and its all over this blanket face."

Bruno’s guilty “I ate your sponge and its all over this blanket face.”

 

Be Loyal. My dogs are loyal. They won’t leave my side no matter how many times a person may try to entice them with a well-meaning belly rub.

Lesson Learned: Loyalty allows love to endure long term. It’s the most important part of any relationship.  People call it faithfulness, but loyalty is what carries you to faithfulness in the end. Loyalty is the guard at the door keeping the call of the wild at bay. Loyalty doesn’t go where it isn’t supposed to; it’s the beautiful presence waiting for you when you return home and the one you want with you on wild adventures. Loyalty cuddles you on a cold winter night when your socks don’t match, your eyeliner is smudged and you really should be wearing a bra.  

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I’ll Poke You with my Carrot!

Cuddle

Why do people cuddle in the produce section of grocery stores?  It’s creepy.  Have you seen these couples?  The grocery store is not the place for cuddling get the hell out of my way, move it!  It’s cold in there and it makes me want to pee, you’re blocking the avocados and you’re lame.  You wanna know why I think you’re lame? Because you think its cool to cuddle in a grocery store!   Get out of my way before I poke you in the eye with one of my carrots!

How is a 2,740.00 pound Toyota Prius so quiet that I’ve actually had one park right next to me and not even heard the damn thing pull in?  But we cant figure out how to make a hair blow dryer that doesn’t sound like a jet engine!  I still have to listen to that loudness every time I blow dry my hair?  That’s probably why I couldn’t hear the Prius…

Interview with a Carnie Take Two is Coming

I’m so excited to see my Carnie friends again this year!  They’ll be back in a couple of months and I can’t wait to interview them, catch up and rock my fairway key!  I love people that are doing shiiiii their own way!

valenti 1

Here is a link to that interview!  I’m already craving some Wrights pink popcorn and a corndog! lol

http://wp.me/p2tO0w-1vs

Why Do So Many Bloggers Quit?

So many blogs have disappeared since I first became a blogger.  I wonder why? These are some of the guesses I’ve made….

1.  They realized we were merely reading their blog because they’re nuts.  But a really good kind of “Nuts.”  Hey, we enjoyed those post imbued with honesty while you self imploded, it made us/me feel more sane.  Can you restart your crazy blog tomorrow? Please? Please?  Um, you were kind of becoming my muse…lol

2.  They realized they really don’t enjoy writing as much as they thought they did. 

3.  They thought they were going to become famous and rich with their blog. Then realized that really does take some work, so they became a quitter.

4.  They realized they don’t have anything to say or post on a regular basis.  To you I would say, “You quit too soon, there are people out there that are interested in the same things you are, try again!”

5.  They are going through personal struggles, health, significant other, work, etc. To you I say, “I’m sorry.  I hope it gets better.”

6.  They are perfectionist and posting became too difficult because they compared themselves to other people and bloggers.

7. They  were filling a personal void coupled with a need for validation and have found it elsewhere.  That should always come from within so, “Via con dios!” “Shalom” “Arrivederci” Good for you!……….. 

8.  They became too big and famous, redirected me to some new blog-site that never seems to load quickly or properly, and is down a lot of the time, in that case, I did the quitting.

Whatever the reason, I’ll miss being entertained and inspired by some of you.  

 

 

Things I Thought About While Babysitting These Past Four Days

1. How in the hell can tiny feet smell that bad? I thought my dog had an accident in the house the smell was so gross. (I gave them an instant foot bath, a lesson on toe cleaning and the importance of fresh socks. Then I loaded them into the car and bought them new shoes and a bag of cartoon socks. They were really excited!)

2. How do mothers find time for sex? Kids sure seem like a sex killer, I am usually up until 1 a.m. or so, but while the kids were here, I was climbing up into my bed by 8 p.m. like I had just circled the desert and finally found a lake of cold water.

3. Saying, “don’t touch that” to a 7 and 7 1/2 year-old is the same as saying, “please play with that as often as you’d like.”

4. Kids can’t resist stacks of peanuts piled up in bins at farmers market. I’m so thankful for the lady that smiled and refused to let me pay. She must be a mother, patience of a Saint!

5. I let the kids make fury mustaches and matching eyebrows, it was so cute! Then we made glittering miniature hats, we wore them on our walk to the playground and did you know that the cliques start so young!? The kids were rude, made fun of their mustaches and hats, and didn’t want to play with my little friends. The parents didn’t even respond when I said, “hi” or told their children to “stop saying things that were not nice!” The children were miniature snobby versions of their parents, it made me sad. However, if they were trying to make us uncomfortable it didn’t work! We thought they were boring, unfriendly, and little 7-year-old “Bea” said, “she would pray for them.” lol (I was so proud of her.) We broke the kids down and eventually became a hit, because they had a grown up with them willing to push everybody on the merry-go-round!(So glad to see those making a come-back those were my favorite as a child.) None of the parents were playing or pushing the kids on the merry-go-rounds? They were on their smart phones or zoned out, it was all very strange. I didn’t know public playgrounds could be so tough or segregated!

6. Little kids love going to the mountains and exploring! That was fun. (and exhausting wow.) They also make great gardeners!(Hole digging for perennials.)

7. I love finding things hidden in my curtains, smashed crayons shoved under my furniture, and lots of new drawings on my fridge and hidden under my pillow when they go home, it made me laugh. Not looking forward to cleaning it all up, but it is really cute.(My bathroom smells like kid pee. Why can’t little boys hit the water bowl? ew.)

kid postkid post2

8. Silence is all you want when kids are around but then again, silence was bad. I would panic and imagine they had escaped the backyard and were headed for the next town or picked up by a giant eagle. How do parents relax?

9. My animals have been passed out all day! I didn’t realize how boring and calm our daily lives were until the kids left. My animals were ridden, chased, pulled, tugged, kissed, hugged, colored with chalk, and dressed up. lol (They loved it but they are tired. I’m especially proud of my old cat Gladis she didn’t claw anybody and if you knew her that is kind of a miracle. Bea probably prayed over her. lol)

10. Kids want real band-aids. You really need those, they look at you like you are insane when you make a homemade cotton and tape “band-aid thing” I was not fooling them. They didn’t feel better until they had a real band-aid. lol In my day, my daddy would smother my boo-boo with reddish-brown iodine, slap a cotton ball on, and then add masking tape! (I miss that man) What ever happened to those iodine bottles with the little glass ball on the end? Those were cool and healed everything! 🙂

11. I really respect the way my grandmother and my mother matched all my socks, kept our house really clean, and cooked homemade meals all of the time. In four days, I managed to bake one batch of cookies, but I turned to take-out, my house is shot, and I threw all of their socks into one bag. But I know I gave those little munchkins some great memories and made them tired. If I learned anything in the past four days, its that if you make children tired enough to sleep eight hours and you heard a lot of giggling; you’ve done well.