This Badass

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So this badass just showed up and waited two days by an empty food bowl. Tail missing, part of an ear chopped off, untrusting of people, bold, onery and flawed…..yea, ok, you can live here you’ll fit right in! 😂😂

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Summer Evening Feel

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My cat “Charlie” and rabbit “Boom-Boom” are playing chase while my neighbor and I enjoy an ice cold beer. Feeling blessed and grateful, beautiful night….bbq’d like a champ & getting yard ready for summer. 👍👊💟👏 Spring cleaning is blehhh but feels good afterwards…closets next…

A Guy with OCD, a Jerk and a Bad Decorator….

I wanted sushi for lunch but the place was closed 2:00 until 5:30.  That is dumb. People want sushi all day unless you’re a 5 star restaurant, suck it up and stay open!  So, I went to the sandwich place next door.  The cashier was so cute he obviously had OCD and I was happy he had a supportive employer. He had to shake the change three times before he gave it to you and needed to pump the bread toaster button 3 times, before he finally let it lock.  When he brought my sandwich, he turned around three times before setting my plate down; I found it charming. I loved that the sandwiches were old fashioned. People over-do sandwiches, just make mine a normal sized sandwich on sourdough that doesn’t explode with falling sauces and vegetables with every bite, thanks.

This picture of an old woman was my view during lunch?

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I imagined her saying, “You enjoy that toasted bread honey cuz in 30 years it’ll be too hard on your teeth!”  After 10 more minutes, I imagined her saying, “This will be you in no time.  Grow some balls and do that thing you’ve been wanting to do NOW!”  It was the weirdest ambiance in there, like antique/cowboy theme meets the shining.  The little girl with her dog pic was the view from the toilet!! 😂

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Things got really interesting when 4 older men, I’d say around 70, sat down nearby to shoot the s@$ and started fighting about terrorist. One guy said, “It’s all a farce.” The other guy blamed Bush, the other one blamed Obama etc. BUT THEN,  the argument got really hot when this one lone jerk feverently said, “The Holocaust never happened.” Wow. They started shouting and three guys walked out, gave him the bird and left! But not before I grabbed my purse and  said, “Hey, wait for me! I’m leaving with you!”

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I’m Having the Best New Year!

I went to sleep on the beach….woke up on the beach….drank the best sangria I think I’ve ever had while listening to great Jazz….ate goat cheese stuffed piquillo peppers and raw oysters for lunch….had a great dinner….hiked….made a new friend from Russia and I’m still going….hike in a.m. ahhhh Happy New Year!!! 🙌👊  This IS THE BEST NEW YEAR I’VE HAD IN A WHILE!

On a side note, how cute are my new boots they were only $9.99!! Usually I’m against fake leather boots but $9.99…..lol I broke them in today and they are really comfortable!

I hope everybody is having a great New Year!

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There is still hope for California

There is a cool liquor store by my house.  It’s one of those old fashioned “mom and pop” places that has retained a following because of its rare array of port wine, cigars, candy, liquor, hard-to-find cigarette’s etc.  Going in there is like going back in time!  The dad recently retired and his son is respectful of what his father built and not changing much. They BBQ the best tri-tip on Monday and Friday’s that you can call in for pickup.  I’m a regular on Fridays, 🙂 but I showed up last week and they’d forgotten my order, so I said, “It’s o.k., I’ll still pay and you can fill it next Friday.”  When I went to pick up my order yesterday, I found an envelope with this note inside the bag and my $15.00!  His dad would be proud…..and I’ll always come back!  I sure miss small businesses….

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What Your Marriage May Look Like To A Single Person

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An editied version of this article originally appeared on HaveHeart Magazine October 1st 2014 (Photo is courtesy of HaveHeart Magazine) You may link to this article here:http://haveheartmagazine.com/kind-marriage-ship-sailing/#sthash.fkr0mZi8.dpbs

What Kind Of Marriage Ship Are You Sailing?
By Tina Zita

Single people are often thought of as “lost at sea” when their friends sail ashore in a matrimonial boat made for two. I sense that some of my friends think of me as lonely and adrift because I’ve remained a single woman. Truth be told, I am not a particular fan of marriage, enjoy my solitude, and was hoping my friends marriages would serve to alter my perspective. In actuality, many of their unions have left me more determined to never drop anchor. I’m not a marriage counselor, but I’ve learned a few things from watching my coupled friends repeat behavioral patterns over the years, and while I realize one incident is not indicative of a whole marriage; the examples below have taught me a lot about what can go wrong and right:

The Rough Water Couple: This couple invited me over to a party. I walked in and the husband proudly showed me his homemade marinade, filled my glass with wine, and complimented his wife’s beautiful table setting. As I sat down to eat, I witness his wife humiliate him for making a mistake in front of their guests and become infuriated when he carried out the BBQ meat on the wrong plate. This example of marriage didn’t look like fun to me, it was rough water. I wanted to take my friend by the arm and whisper, “What is wrong with you? This man loves you and worked hard on this meal. Was his plate choice really important enough to berate him in front of your mutual guests?” It was embarrassing for us and for him; he wasn’t the same the rest of the night.

“Mary and Jimmy” A Smooth Sailing Couple: When they invite me over for BBQ’s, I’ve noticed Mary will kiss Jimmy on the cheek while he is grilling, bring him a cold drink and says things like, “Thanks babe, this all taste great!” Jimmy usually brings her plate before his own, accompanied by a wink and a genuine happiness to serve her. I see this caring attitude reciprocated when it’s Mary’s turn to cook. I’ve learned a lot by spending time with this couple. They are both attractive people, but their charming interactions shine the brightest in any social gathering—like a lighthouse pointing the way back to safety.

Lesson Learned: Appreciate your husband and take notice when he is working hard. Don’t ever shame a man in front of family and friends, ever.

The Woman Who Forgot How To Navigate: I know a woman who has forgotten how to steer her own ship and morphed into her husband. I don’t know what happened to her? Each time we get together I hear things like, “Tim and I just love this color.” The problem is, I’m not talking to Tim, and I miss hearing her individual opinion. While dining at a new restaurant she’ll say, “Oh, Tim will love this dish, we just love garlic.” (Yawn) I wonder to myself if Tim enjoys all of his taste preferences decided for him by his wife. Maybe Tim has changed his mind and now prefers a different color and has developed an aversion to garlic? We’ll never know, because Tim has lost his voice and developed an identical twin.

“Lisa and Mike” A Smooth Sailing Couple: Lisa and Mike have remained individuals and even though they miss each other dearly when they are apart, they encourage each other to take separate trips with friends. Especially, when it’s something the other has no interest in; they don’t fake it, begrudgingly attend, or texted and call nonstop ruining the others experience. Just last week, Lisa began to ramble on at dinner deciding if she had to choose between becoming a werewolf or a vampire, which she would rather embody. Mike never interrupted her; he laughed and listened patiently until she finally determined that she would become a werewolf. Her reasoning being that she is lazy, and becoming a werewolf would only require her to run at full speed and hunt on full moons. Mike smirked, reached for the bread basket and said, “Good choice, I want to find you naked in the forest!” We all roared with laughter! He didn’t take the opportunity to say something rude about her self-proclaimed laziness; the respect among these two remains constant. I appreciate that I’ve never had to witness them put each other down or speak for one another in my presence. They choose to acknowledge themselves as individuals saying things like, “Oh, you’ll have to ask Mike, I wonder if he would enjoy that?” or “Hey, I wonder if Lisa would be interested in going to that concert?” Mike still flirts with Lisa and she’s equally as smitten, routinely latching onto his side as they walk to the car like a couple of teenagers. Did I mention that everyone in our group of friends is nearing 40? By the looks of their sails, you would never know it.

Lesson Learned: Don’t lose your own voice or speak for your partner. Marriage joins two people, sure, you cohabitate and all of that, but you still have individual brains!

The Fanatical Manipulator: My friend I’ll call “Paige” is a college graduate that consistently made top honors. She is one of the most intelligent, funny, capable women I’ve ever known. (That was until she got married.) Her husband became fanatical about his beliefs and does not possess anywhere near the mental capacity for learning that she does. His mounting insecurities compel him to attack her self-esteem becoming so relentless in his pursuit of her confidence; that she has actually begun to believe that she is not viable without him. When her family and friends try to build her up and help her out of her funk, he intervenes, promises to change, and cleverly uses what he perceives to be her “weaknesses” as a means to guilt her back into submission. According to him, she is not zealous enough about his viewpoints and needs to change course. We’ve even heard him say, “Wipe that make-up off your face you look ridiculous!” The truth is, she looked absolutely stunning and merely had on mascara and lipstick! This is an example of a ship headed for rocks.

“Cassie and Matt” A Smooth Sailing Couple: The best example of marriage I’ve ever seen has been that of my friends, Cassie and Matt. They are an inspiration! Matt admires and builds up Cassie in all things, like the time she momentarily took up knitting and made Breaking Bad inspired “Yo Bitch” pot holders. He proudly hung them on the wall making certain we all noticed how creative his wife was and even took orders. When they began to plan their wedding it only took them a month! (I didn’t even think that was possible?) Neither of them stressed over minor details the whole event was fun, relaxed, and low maintenance. They weren’t concerned with which flowers to choose or what color the napkins should be. Their excitement centered on making their union official and enjoying the after party alongside family and friends. When we have Scrabble parties, they are still amused and astonished by each other’s ability to be clever and innovative. Matt never tries to tell Cassie “how to think” if he did, she would toss him overboard and I get the sense he admires that quality in her. Cassie allows Matt the freedom he needs to evolve and never criticizes him, she just quietly pulls ropes alongside him, hoisting the sails, tanning her legs, and trusting Matt’s ability to lead them into their next adventure.

Lesson Learned: Don’t suppress your intellectual abilities for a partner that can’t keep up. A secure person will be inspired by your strengths, not threatened by them.

Cassie and Matt have been together over fifteen years and every time I am around them, I smile with amazement and am honored to witness their marriage. Experiencing my friends separately heightens the enjoyment, and has a unique way of actually making them seem more inseparable and united in my mind. As far as our group of friends goes, we get to hang out with two awesomely healthy individuals instead of navigating around one unbalanced couple all night long. These examples lead me back to the realization that I still prefer casting my own nets and sailing the seas alone. I don’t want a pirate grifting away my peace, I don’t want to live in a cracked submarine knowing that walls will cave in from the mounting pressure, and I don’t want a captain trying to command a ship that doesn’t belong to him. I will say this, Cassie and Matt’s example of marriage reminds me to lift the tarp off my boat and check for rust on my anchor. When I leave their company and drift back out into the sea of singles, I think, maybe, just maybe, I’ll find a sailor that doesn’t want to take over my boat and change it. We’ll elect to drop anchors, choosing to drift separately among the waves, while remaining close enough to communicate, hold each other’s rope calloused hands, and admire the uniqueness of our hulls.

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