My cat “Charlie” and rabbit “Boom-Boom” are playing chase while my neighbor and I enjoy an ice cold beer. Feeling blessed and grateful, beautiful night….bbq’d like a champ & getting yard ready for summer. 👍👊💟👏 Spring cleaning is blehhh but feels good afterwards…closets next…
My friend just signed up for online dating(barf) and I was cracking up reading the “about me” sections of those things with her. She didn’t enjoy the mockery but I couldn’t help it. (Plus I saw TWO GUYS I KNOW ARE MARRIED!) I respect people choosing online dating as an option, it is none of my business, but it isn’t something I would ever do. I wonder what would happen if people were brutally honest with their profiles…. I started thinking about what my online dating profile would sound like. Haaa Here it goes:
You may not call me “Babe.” That is a generic term that guys use as a catch-all and more than likely, was used on every girlfriend you’ve ever had. If you’re going to be with me, you’re going to “Say.My. Name!”
If your mom is a meddler and attempts to subtly put down your girlfriends over dinner, I am not the woman for you. I am too old to be polite to mean mothers. I will not wince before verbally nailing your mother to the wall, no matter how cute you are. I regrettably tolerated bad parents when I was young and naive – I won’t do it again.
I come with two dogs a cat, rabbit, and some really annoying God kids whom I love very much. They will want to be your friend, how you treat them can and will be a deal breaker.
I’m set in my ways, that means you are welcome in my home but the minute you start trying to rearrange my furniture and/or attempting to change me in general; you are history. I’m still wild enough to try almost anything once, but I like myself the way I am, I’m not changing. But, I promise to return the favor.
I really don’t enjoy large crowds, gambling, Vegas, or middle-aged men that still talk about the football pass they made senior year of high school or college. Living in your past sucks.
I can’t twerk and I don’t want to.
If you don’t believe in good dental health keep scrolling. If you floss religiously everyday, call me.
In my opinion, a great sandwich consist of only cuts, a fresh roll, mustard, red onion, and mayo. I like onions and garlic a lot, this will work out better if you do too.
Music, movies, nature, and art are part of my life force.
I can’t compare Star Wars to Star Trek, I won’t choose sides.
I prefer a man with a big nose, big feet, and big hands. (Think Adrian Brody or Robert De Niro)
My idea of a good time is an old cabin in the middle of the forest, good wine, books, delicious food, quality clothing, great leather boots(I like to get dirty if my feet are comfortable), tiny cubes of cheese, dessert, comfortable furniture, a fireplace, and a Range Rover(if it’s good enough for the queen…) to get me back into the city every few weeks. ☺💜
If that sounds boring to you keep on clicking………
An editied version of this article originally appeared on HaveHeart Magazine October 1st 2014 (Photo is courtesy of HaveHeart Magazine) You may link to this article here:http://haveheartmagazine.com/kind-marriage-ship-sailing/#sthash.fkr0mZi8.dpbs
What Kind Of Marriage Ship Are You Sailing?
By Tina Zita
Single people are often thought of as “lost at sea” when their friends sail ashore in a matrimonial boat made for two. I sense that some of my friends think of me as lonely and adrift because I’ve remained a single woman. Truth be told, I am not a particular fan of marriage, enjoy my solitude, and was hoping my friends marriages would serve to alter my perspective. In actuality, many of their unions have left me more determined to never drop anchor. I’m not a marriage counselor, but I’ve learned a few things from watching my coupled friends repeat behavioral patterns over the years, and while I realize one incident is not indicative of a whole marriage; the examples below have taught me a lot about what can go wrong and right:
The Rough Water Couple: This couple invited me over to a party. I walked in and the husband proudly showed me his homemade marinade, filled my glass with wine, and complimented his wife’s beautiful table setting. As I sat down to eat, I witness his wife humiliate him for making a mistake in front of their guests and become infuriated when he carried out the BBQ meat on the wrong plate. This example of marriage didn’t look like fun to me, it was rough water. I wanted to take my friend by the arm and whisper, “What is wrong with you? This man loves you and worked hard on this meal. Was his plate choice really important enough to berate him in front of your mutual guests?” It was embarrassing for us and for him; he wasn’t the same the rest of the night.
“Mary and Jimmy” A Smooth Sailing Couple: When they invite me over for BBQ’s, I’ve noticed Mary will kiss Jimmy on the cheek while he is grilling, bring him a cold drink and says things like, “Thanks babe, this all taste great!” Jimmy usually brings her plate before his own, accompanied by a wink and a genuine happiness to serve her. I see this caring attitude reciprocated when it’s Mary’s turn to cook. I’ve learned a lot by spending time with this couple. They are both attractive people, but their charming interactions shine the brightest in any social gathering—like a lighthouse pointing the way back to safety.
Lesson Learned: Appreciate your husband and take notice when he is working hard. Don’t ever shame a man in front of family and friends, ever.
The Woman Who Forgot How To Navigate: I know a woman who has forgotten how to steer her own ship and morphed into her husband. I don’t know what happened to her? Each time we get together I hear things like, “Tim and I just love this color.” The problem is, I’m not talking to Tim, and I miss hearing her individual opinion. While dining at a new restaurant she’ll say, “Oh, Tim will love this dish, we just love garlic.” (Yawn) I wonder to myself if Tim enjoys all of his taste preferences decided for him by his wife. Maybe Tim has changed his mind and now prefers a different color and has developed an aversion to garlic? We’ll never know, because Tim has lost his voice and developed an identical twin.
“Lisa and Mike” A Smooth Sailing Couple: Lisa and Mike have remained individuals and even though they miss each other dearly when they are apart, they encourage each other to take separate trips with friends. Especially, when it’s something the other has no interest in; they don’t fake it, begrudgingly attend, or texted and call nonstop ruining the others experience. Just last week, Lisa began to ramble on at dinner deciding if she had to choose between becoming a werewolf or a vampire, which she would rather embody. Mike never interrupted her; he laughed and listened patiently until she finally determined that she would become a werewolf. Her reasoning being that she is lazy, and becoming a werewolf would only require her to run at full speed and hunt on full moons. Mike smirked, reached for the bread basket and said, “Good choice, I want to find you naked in the forest!” We all roared with laughter! He didn’t take the opportunity to say something rude about her self-proclaimed laziness; the respect among these two remains constant. I appreciate that I’ve never had to witness them put each other down or speak for one another in my presence. They choose to acknowledge themselves as individuals saying things like, “Oh, you’ll have to ask Mike, I wonder if he would enjoy that?” or “Hey, I wonder if Lisa would be interested in going to that concert?” Mike still flirts with Lisa and she’s equally as smitten, routinely latching onto his side as they walk to the car like a couple of teenagers. Did I mention that everyone in our group of friends is nearing 40? By the looks of their sails, you would never know it.
Lesson Learned: Don’t lose your own voice or speak for your partner. Marriage joins two people, sure, you cohabitate and all of that, but you still have individual brains!
The Fanatical Manipulator: My friend I’ll call “Paige” is a college graduate that consistently made top honors. She is one of the most intelligent, funny, capable women I’ve ever known. (That was until she got married.) Her husband became fanatical about his beliefs and does not possess anywhere near the mental capacity for learning that she does. His mounting insecurities compel him to attack her self-esteem becoming so relentless in his pursuit of her confidence; that she has actually begun to believe that she is not viable without him. When her family and friends try to build her up and help her out of her funk, he intervenes, promises to change, and cleverly uses what he perceives to be her “weaknesses” as a means to guilt her back into submission. According to him, she is not zealous enough about his viewpoints and needs to change course. We’ve even heard him say, “Wipe that make-up off your face you look ridiculous!” The truth is, she looked absolutely stunning and merely had on mascara and lipstick! This is an example of a ship headed for rocks.
“Cassie and Matt” A Smooth Sailing Couple: The best example of marriage I’ve ever seen has been that of my friends, Cassie and Matt. They are an inspiration! Matt admires and builds up Cassie in all things, like the time she momentarily took up knitting and made Breaking Bad inspired “Yo Bitch” pot holders. He proudly hung them on the wall making certain we all noticed how creative his wife was and even took orders. When they began to plan their wedding it only took them a month! (I didn’t even think that was possible?) Neither of them stressed over minor details the whole event was fun, relaxed, and low maintenance. They weren’t concerned with which flowers to choose or what color the napkins should be. Their excitement centered on making their union official and enjoying the after party alongside family and friends. When we have Scrabble parties, they are still amused and astonished by each other’s ability to be clever and innovative. Matt never tries to tell Cassie “how to think” if he did, she would toss him overboard and I get the sense he admires that quality in her. Cassie allows Matt the freedom he needs to evolve and never criticizes him, she just quietly pulls ropes alongside him, hoisting the sails, tanning her legs, and trusting Matt’s ability to lead them into their next adventure.
Lesson Learned: Don’t suppress your intellectual abilities for a partner that can’t keep up. A secure person will be inspired by your strengths, not threatened by them.
Cassie and Matt have been together over fifteen years and every time I am around them, I smile with amazement and am honored to witness their marriage. Experiencing my friends separately heightens the enjoyment, and has a unique way of actually making them seem more inseparable and united in my mind. As far as our group of friends goes, we get to hang out with two awesomely healthy individuals instead of navigating around one unbalanced couple all night long. These examples lead me back to the realization that I still prefer casting my own nets and sailing the seas alone. I don’t want a pirate grifting away my peace, I don’t want to live in a cracked submarine knowing that walls will cave in from the mounting pressure, and I don’t want a captain trying to command a ship that doesn’t belong to him. I will say this, Cassie and Matt’s example of marriage reminds me to lift the tarp off my boat and check for rust on my anchor. When I leave their company and drift back out into the sea of singles, I think, maybe, just maybe, I’ll find a sailor that doesn’t want to take over my boat and change it. We’ll elect to drop anchors, choosing to drift separately among the waves, while remaining close enough to communicate, hold each other’s rope calloused hands, and admire the uniqueness of our hulls.
My neighbor taught me to make ceviche with carrots. What was really interesting is that she says the women in her family don’t get osteoporosis? She attributes this to all of the carrots they eat and the fact that they are high in calcium. Hmnnn. She said its a long held family tradition. Who am I to argue with her traditions and heartfelt theory. All I know is this is sooooo delicious and easy!
Here is her recipe:
2 carrots hand grated on a cheese grater (It really did make a difference in taste and texture)
2 large lemons juiced
Boiled shrimp (medium to large prawns)
Handful of chopped cilantro
1 medium white or red onion
1 jalapeno diced
1 roma tomato seeded & diced
Put shrimp and lemon in bowl first, mix the hell out of this, add salt and pepper to taste. I love my neighbor! Gaw, she can cook and its always simple and delicious. (and ALWAYS includes carrots lol)
I have a dentist appointment in the a.m. and I’m suddenly craving fresh salsa with raw onions and garlic. yummm. I’ve been going to my dentist for over 25 years, I LOVE HIM! He is great! My fillings are older than that, so I’m getting them replaced just as a preventative measure. How many people can say their fillings lasted 25 years? That’s how amazing his work is! I want salsa so badly but I have to hold out, my dentist is the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a man; I can’t blow it now with bad breath! It’s bad enough I’ll have espresso in the morning; I better not push it. We have a really good thing going….. (lol)
I came home tonight and decided to cook for the first time in probably a month. I opened my fridge to hold the vegetables I had left over and there was nothing in there? Vegetable drawer-empty. Fruit drawer-empty. Condiments? Let’s see, I found hot sauce, tooth bleaching tubes from my dentist, butter, a few laughing cows, ketchup, capers, sour cream, and that’s about it. Not even mustard?
I sat there thinking, “what does this say about me?” Am I too busy? Are my priorities off the mark because I’ve been eating out lately? But I’ve actually SAVED money? That’s true, I was spending more money when I was grocery shopping for days worth of meals. What really stopped me though, was the foil topped Jello containers that I could have sworn I had just bought, they expired two months ago… Who has expired Jello sitting around? ew. I’m a little embarrassed, but at least my fridge is clean and uncluttered. I think I will add an invitation to my Christmas cards this year: “Hey, if you need a place to hide that salami and cheese box you brought for your uncle Joe this holiday, I have two shelves and some produce drawers you’re welcome to!”
I went to a pretty nice restaurant near my home tonight that I like to treat myself to periodically.(amazing cocktails & grilled fish with capers) I sat there a moment after they served my dinner and I couldn’t figure out what was missing, it was too quiet, and something was off? I sat there confused looking around and wondering if I was going crazy and then it donned on me….
As I cut into my food and rested my knife on the side of the plate, I heard a “Clunk sound” not a “Clink,” then I tapped my plate with my fork like a rabbit stomping their foot, “Thunk, Thunk” they had served me on a plastic plate! I couldn’t believe it? But hadn’t I just placed a cloth napkin on my lap earlier? If you are going to cheat me out of proper restaurant “Plate clinking” sounds and serve me on a plastic plate, you need to lower the price. That price includes the idea that I am going to be served on a real plate and get to hear dishware clinking together creating that nice restaurant ambiance I thought I was paying for. If I wanted to eat off of a plastic plate, I would’ve gone on a picnic.