Clearly I have a future as an artist…..I bet a psychologist would have fun with this one??……haaaa
She has all the symptoms….makes everything about her. Has no genuine emotional regard for others. Throws a fit if she doesn’t get her way. She’s bossy as hell. She’s vain beyond belief. Manipulates the ones she loves to her benefit and I just caught her staring at herself in the mirror until she fell asleep….😸🙆
But I love Gladis……she sleeps on my lap twice a year and it feels sincere!? Ha.
1. How in the hell can tiny feet smell that bad? I thought my dog had an accident in the house the smell was so gross. (I gave them an instant foot bath, a lesson on toe cleaning and the importance of fresh socks. Then I loaded them into the car and bought them new shoes and a bag of cartoon socks. They were really excited!)
2. How do mothers find time for sex? Kids sure seem like a sex killer, I am usually up until 1 a.m. or so, but while the kids were here, I was climbing up into my bed by 8 p.m. like I had just circled the desert and finally found a lake of cold water.
3. Saying, “don’t touch that” to a 7 and 7 1/2 year-old is the same as saying, “please play with that as often as you’d like.”
4. Kids can’t resist stacks of peanuts piled up in bins at farmers market. I’m so thankful for the lady that smiled and refused to let me pay. She must be a mother, patience of a Saint!
5. I let the kids make fury mustaches and matching eyebrows, it was so cute! Then we made glittering miniature hats, we wore them on our walk to the playground and did you know that the cliques start so young!? The kids were rude, made fun of their mustaches and hats, and didn’t want to play with my little friends. The parents didn’t even respond when I said, “hi” or told their children to “stop saying things that were not nice!” The children were miniature snobby versions of their parents, it made me sad. However, if they were trying to make us uncomfortable it didn’t work! We thought they were boring, unfriendly, and little 7-year-old “Bea” said, “she would pray for them.” lol (I was so proud of her.) We broke the kids down and eventually became a hit, because they had a grown up with them willing to push everybody on the merry-go-round!(So glad to see those making a come-back those were my favorite as a child.) None of the parents were playing or pushing the kids on the merry-go-rounds? They were on their smart phones or zoned out, it was all very strange. I didn’t know public playgrounds could be so tough or segregated!
6. Little kids love going to the mountains and exploring! That was fun. (and exhausting wow.) They also make great gardeners!(Hole digging for perennials.)
7. I love finding things hidden in my curtains, smashed crayons shoved under my furniture, and lots of new drawings on my fridge and hidden under my pillow when they go home, it made me laugh. Not looking forward to cleaning it all up, but it is really cute.(My bathroom smells like kid pee. Why can’t little boys hit the water bowl? ew.)
8. Silence is all you want when kids are around but then again, silence was bad. I would panic and imagine they had escaped the backyard and were headed for the next town or picked up by a giant eagle. How do parents relax?
9. My animals have been passed out all day! I didn’t realize how boring and calm our daily lives were until the kids left. My animals were ridden, chased, pulled, tugged, kissed, hugged, colored with chalk, and dressed up. lol (They loved it but they are tired. I’m especially proud of my old cat Gladis she didn’t claw anybody and if you knew her that is kind of a miracle. Bea probably prayed over her. lol)
10. Kids want real band-aids. You really need those, they look at you like you are insane when you make a homemade cotton and tape “band-aid thing” I was not fooling them. They didn’t feel better until they had a real band-aid. lol In my day, my daddy would smother my boo-boo with reddish-brown iodine, slap a cotton ball on, and then add masking tape! (I miss that man) What ever happened to those iodine bottles with the little glass ball on the end? Those were cool and healed everything! 🙂
11. I really respect the way my grandmother and my mother matched all my socks, kept our house really clean, and cooked homemade meals all of the time. In four days, I managed to bake one batch of cookies, but I turned to take-out, my house is shot, and I threw all of their socks into one bag. But I know I gave those little munchkins some great memories and made them tired. If I learned anything in the past four days, its that if you make children tired enough to sleep eight hours and you heard a lot of giggling; you’ve done well.