I went to see “Noah” today and was really surprised when I saw Optimus Prime appear out of nowhere. If it wasn’t a Transformer, it was a Transformers cousin. Maybe a rock and the Transformer Cliffjumper mated? I am a person that is pretty open-minded to interpretation, but this movie was just lame. I’m guessing “The watchers” that the producer refers to in the film are supposed to be a reference to the Annunaki theory or angels that fell to help Adam, but it just felt ridiculous. I believe that God called the animals in pairs and gave them the knowledge to find the ark. I mean, if they know to fly south and never crash into each other anything is possible, but walking and talking Transformer-like rocks took it too far even for a conspiracy theorist like me. It was so strange to see beautiful natural looking settings and talented actors representing the biblical era alongside cartoon characters. I felt insulted, and this is coming from a woman who was glued to “The Land of The Lost” as a kid, which is saying something. There was no continuity, no moment where I was drawn into the emotions of a character, there was no passion? It just felt like bullshit. It was really disappointing. It was like anticipating a meal that looked awesome but in the end had no flavor.
Then things got really interesting, the movie just stopped playing!??? I thought, “Thank you God, you heard my prayer and are getting me the hell out of here!” I have never been in a movie theater when the film malfunctioned, not even the drive-ins I went to as a teenager ever had an issue? (O.k, I was making out at the drive-in, but I totally would have known if the movie stopped playing.)
Like the missing Malaysian jet, it made me think, “All of this technology and they can’t find a plane or restart a movie?” And people wonder why I still prefer my record player….
After ten minutes of sitting in the darkness, (Hey, I still had popcorn to finish, don’t judge me! :P) a security guard came in to keep things orderly and tell us that they were unable to restart the movie due to a technical glitch. Regal Theaters gave each person four free tickets for their trouble! See there, good things do come in pairs!!