When you get older your bones pass gas…

Back2Back1Aging has nothing to do with becoming decrepit and whiny. That negativity is your own mental doing and I don’t intend to ever break bread with that type of aging person. However, I hear my body saying things like,” Hey, this is your endoskeleton talking and we can’t keep this shit up. You’ve put us through some wild rides, all nighters, kept us cramped in-car rides to Vegas and all night trips to the beach; you remember that time we had to go snowboarding with you and you kept falling? How about those gymnastics classes you dragged us to in high school! Well listen, we need to creak and pop if you want to go hard for another 40!”

My body has become a comedy show. It does the weirdest things and makes the oddest sounds now that I find both amusing and startling. I was resting yesterday reading a book and as I turned to grab my drink, it sounded like an earthquake had registered in my back. It didn’t hurt, it just made this sound that internally felt like an 8.0. Followed by 100 bones cracking in unison, readjusting and then releasing pressure. My first thought was, “OMG can I still move my legs?!” Followed by, “Can bones fart?” I’m not sure, but it sounded like they do. My back really went for it and it didn’t care who was listening.(This part has me worried) I don’t want to grab a pear at the market and scare small children. This eruption made me freeze for a moment because the sounds were so foreign and fast. The strange part was that when it was over, my back and overall bone structure felt better! My endoskeleton is getting even for all of the times I’ve danced all night in heels and took its hard work for granted. I hear you buddy! I’m sorry! You do all the popping you need to do to keep going, because you and I still have a lot of concerts to go to and I might decide to try rock climbing….

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2 comments on “When you get older your bones pass gas…

  1. charcoalblue says:

    Hilarious … I hear you!

  2. middleagedyo says:

    I’m kind of sad that you relate though….bummer lol

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